Ep 15 - Dog Poop
Yo, this is Hal In Philly and welcome to another shitty episode of Easy When You Know Hal. Today we're going to talk about my biggest pet peeve, literally a pet peeve because a lot of people have dogs as pets. And the thing that bothers me most about dog owners? The ones that don't pick up after their dogs.
It's not that hard to do. And I see people out there walking their dogs, and their dogs are doing their thing and it will leave in a little, little gift for the general public. And the owners just standing there intentionally ignoring it. Like, hmmm mmmm mmmm... my dog ain't doing nothing. And then walking away, just walking away and just leaving it there. What are you thinking when you do that?
I gotta admit, I at one time was the biggest offender. That's right. When I was younger, I was a And irresponsible dog owner myself. I lived in this little two bedroom apartment, and I had a golden retriever named Max.
And I had a white German Shepherd named Sheena. And I was a horrible dog owner. I really was. I won't just talk about my dog leaving poop in the back where all the neighbor kids were playing and I never picked it up. I just left it there. And one day one of the neighbors knocked on my door. And when I opened the door, nobody was there. There was just a shovel, leaning against my door with a note that said, "Your turn". I knew right away what he was referring to. And I picked it up and then I continued to leave the mess there. So I continued to be a scofflaw and not regularly pick up the poop.
Then I met this girl, and we were together for a very long time. I'm not going to get into the relationship, just the dog, we got a dog together a golden retriever, named Max. Oh, by the way, don't ever name a dog, Max. You know why? Because Max is one of the five most popular dog names. So if you take your dog to the dog park, and you're ready to go, it's time to leave and you go, "Hey, Max, come here!", about eight dogs named Max, are going to come running to you, so don't name a dog Max.
So we enrolled Max in a dog training class for puppies. And one of the first things that our teacher taught us was how to easily pick up poop with a bag from the store, like a T shirt bag, one of those plastic bags that say "Thank You",They're trying to ban those bags, by the way, and I don't know what I'm going to use to pick up the dog poop after they're gone. But anyway, she showed us how you put the bag over the pile of poop, and then you turn it inside out and the poop's inside the bag. And I thought, "That's so easy! I wish I'd known that a long time ago".
Since then, I have religiously picked up after my dog each and every time. I used to just let it sit there until there were a few. And now for some reason, I became totally obsessed with picking up my dog's poop immediately, and throwing it away. So now I start going to the dog park and I see somebody trying to walk away. I become like the biggest advocate for picking up and I'd be like, "Hey! you gonna just leave that there?" I actually became very obnoxious about it. And to this day, I hate to tell you, but I am adamant that people pick up after their dogs immediately.
Yeah, well, you might say, well, Hal, it's biodegradable. It's just going to go... No, no, no, you tell that to the woman whose kids just stepped in it and tracked it into their house; and it attracts flies, and it's just unsanitary. It smells God-awful. Just, you know what? If you have a dog, and you're taking your dog for a walk, which I heartily recommend you do, if you don't exercise your dog, you just put let him go in the backyard or tie him up to a tree. That's not taking care of your dog, you need to go for walks. The whole reason I like having a dog is because it helps keep the weight off. Right now I have been without a dog for a little while. So I haven't been getting much exercise myself and getting concerned about that. But the one thing that prevents me from getting another dog right away is - I'm thinking, Oh, no, I'm gonna have to go for walks four or five times a day, whether it's raining or snowing or whatever it's doing out there. If you have a dog, get ready. You have to take that dog for a walk, and you have to clean up.
So real quickly. I'm just going to tell you how to do it. You carry those bags. Oh, here's a tip about the bags too. If you go to a pet store, you'll see these little bags that come in like little rolls. I don't know what the price is offhand. But if you go to Costco and the section in the back where they have all the paper goods are, they have T shirt bags, and there's 1000 of them for whatever the price is, trust me, it's a lot cheaper to buy the T shirt bags than the ones that are specified for dogs. That's just a hint to save you some money and never run out of bags, because 1000 bags the last year a long time, least a year. So anyway, you take that bag, like I said a little earlier, and when your dog goes, you then place your hand inside the bag. Pretend your bag is like a glove and you pick up the poop with the bag protecting your hand from getting anything on you and invert the bag, turn it inside out. And now your dog poop is inside the bag without ever having touched it. It's a beautiful thing and
It's Easy When You Know Hal
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
It's not that hard to do. And I see people out there walking their dogs, and their dogs are doing their thing and it will leave in a little, little gift for the general public. And the owners just standing there intentionally ignoring it. Like, hmmm mmmm mmmm... my dog ain't doing nothing. And then walking away, just walking away and just leaving it there. What are you thinking when you do that?
I gotta admit, I at one time was the biggest offender. That's right. When I was younger, I was a And irresponsible dog owner myself. I lived in this little two bedroom apartment, and I had a golden retriever named Max.
And I had a white German Shepherd named Sheena. And I was a horrible dog owner. I really was. I won't just talk about my dog leaving poop in the back where all the neighbor kids were playing and I never picked it up. I just left it there. And one day one of the neighbors knocked on my door. And when I opened the door, nobody was there. There was just a shovel, leaning against my door with a note that said, "Your turn". I knew right away what he was referring to. And I picked it up and then I continued to leave the mess there. So I continued to be a scofflaw and not regularly pick up the poop.
Then I met this girl, and we were together for a very long time. I'm not going to get into the relationship, just the dog, we got a dog together a golden retriever, named Max. Oh, by the way, don't ever name a dog, Max. You know why? Because Max is one of the five most popular dog names. So if you take your dog to the dog park, and you're ready to go, it's time to leave and you go, "Hey, Max, come here!", about eight dogs named Max, are going to come running to you, so don't name a dog Max.
So we enrolled Max in a dog training class for puppies. And one of the first things that our teacher taught us was how to easily pick up poop with a bag from the store, like a T shirt bag, one of those plastic bags that say "Thank You",They're trying to ban those bags, by the way, and I don't know what I'm going to use to pick up the dog poop after they're gone. But anyway, she showed us how you put the bag over the pile of poop, and then you turn it inside out and the poop's inside the bag. And I thought, "That's so easy! I wish I'd known that a long time ago".
Since then, I have religiously picked up after my dog each and every time. I used to just let it sit there until there were a few. And now for some reason, I became totally obsessed with picking up my dog's poop immediately, and throwing it away. So now I start going to the dog park and I see somebody trying to walk away. I become like the biggest advocate for picking up and I'd be like, "Hey! you gonna just leave that there?" I actually became very obnoxious about it. And to this day, I hate to tell you, but I am adamant that people pick up after their dogs immediately.
Yeah, well, you might say, well, Hal, it's biodegradable. It's just going to go... No, no, no, you tell that to the woman whose kids just stepped in it and tracked it into their house; and it attracts flies, and it's just unsanitary. It smells God-awful. Just, you know what? If you have a dog, and you're taking your dog for a walk, which I heartily recommend you do, if you don't exercise your dog, you just put let him go in the backyard or tie him up to a tree. That's not taking care of your dog, you need to go for walks. The whole reason I like having a dog is because it helps keep the weight off. Right now I have been without a dog for a little while. So I haven't been getting much exercise myself and getting concerned about that. But the one thing that prevents me from getting another dog right away is - I'm thinking, Oh, no, I'm gonna have to go for walks four or five times a day, whether it's raining or snowing or whatever it's doing out there. If you have a dog, get ready. You have to take that dog for a walk, and you have to clean up.
So real quickly. I'm just going to tell you how to do it. You carry those bags. Oh, here's a tip about the bags too. If you go to a pet store, you'll see these little bags that come in like little rolls. I don't know what the price is offhand. But if you go to Costco and the section in the back where they have all the paper goods are, they have T shirt bags, and there's 1000 of them for whatever the price is, trust me, it's a lot cheaper to buy the T shirt bags than the ones that are specified for dogs. That's just a hint to save you some money and never run out of bags, because 1000 bags the last year a long time, least a year. So anyway, you take that bag, like I said a little earlier, and when your dog goes, you then place your hand inside the bag. Pretend your bag is like a glove and you pick up the poop with the bag protecting your hand from getting anything on you and invert the bag, turn it inside out. And now your dog poop is inside the bag without ever having touched it. It's a beautiful thing and
It's Easy When You Know Hal
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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