Gwyneth Paltrow's Vagina
TRANSCRIPT
Hal InPhilly 0:00
Yeah What's up this is Hal in Philly and welcome to another aromatic episode of Easy When You Know Hal. Why do I say aromatic? Well you know what? Today we're gonna... I wasn't planning this, but the new Twitter... Twitter's just exploding right now with talk of Gwyneth Paltrow's aromatic candle. lol Wait, my phone just...heh hehe heh, I...t's trying to tell me something. Well. I guarantee I'm not going to get through this episode with a straight face. It's... Okay, so here's the deal.
Hal InPhilly 0:41
Gwyneth Paltrow, this was on the news and now it's like, made Twitter explode with just all kinds of great comments, some of which I definitely have to read. But anyway, Gwyneth Paltrow was trying to develop a candle and I guess she was you know, sniffing the different candles trying to come up with names. And, she smelled one candle and just exclaimed, "This candle smells like my vagina!" So... that's what they called it.
Hal InPhilly 1:11
So there's a there's a candle called This Candle Smells Like My Vagina by Gwyneth Paltrow a nd she sold it on her website, Goop - G-O-O-P - that's the name of Gwyneth Paltrow his website for - 75 dollars, and they sold out. This made the news, naturally, and with all the bad, horrible news in the world. I decided I gotta focus on this because you know, we, We need a good laugh. And this is just too funny. So what reason would anybody have for paying $75 for a candle that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina (or any vagina for that matter)?
Hal InPhilly 1:50
Now, when we were younger, we used to burn candles and incense, you know, to cover up the fact like, we were smoking pot in the room, so, in our dumb-ass little minds, we actually thought we were fooling somebody when we lit incense or candles. Cuz all it did was smell like... The incense actually smelled like pot, so basically, all you're doing is telling your parents you're smoking pot in the room. Now, with the vagina scented candles, you've got the smell of sex AND pot in your room. So you're really - Not only are you not covering up what you're doing, you're making matters worse, okay? It's... it's your room smells like you're smoking pot AND having sex. So that's not good. And then the other thing is, you know... Are they edible? No, I wouldn't suggest eating a vagina set a candle. But could you lick it? Umm... and that's just wrong for me to think that. I know you were thinking to though, so I don't feel so bad.
Hal InPhilly 2:50
I did have a thought, now. There are 850 million podcasts now. And I have a feeling that today or the day that new came out there were 849 instead of instead of 850 million or 849,999,999 podcasts, all doing an episode about Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina senate candles. Because, what else can you talk about after that? Like I said, Twitter has blown up. So I want to read. I just want to read it. Just a couple of things. I'm on the website now. I'm just going to like just scroll on read a few of these. Okay. Let's see.
Hal InPhilly 3:33
Elizabeth Mae says, "I cannot believe I C A N N O T B E L I E V E that some of you out there spent $75 on a fucking candle that smells like outras vagina. This goddamn candle is sold out. All of you need a timeout. YOU'RE ALL FIRED. TIME FOR JAIL"
Hal InPhilly 4:01
Sheena from England says, "57 pounds for a candle that smells like someone's vagina. You can smell mine for a fiver" LOL
Hal InPhilly 4:13
Ida Skibenes says, "I'm just going to say it. If you have $75 to spend on a fucking candle that smells like a vagina, you should definitely sit down and stfu the next time you feel like saying, 'I'm not going to pay for anyone's health care'." Okay? Some people take the news a little too seriously. I understand your concern Ida and, and and i i'm with you. I'm with you baby.
Hal InPhilly 4:40
Neal Brennan.., He's a comic. Very funny guy. Let me see what he says. "That Gwyneth Paltrow vagina scented candle is going to be great for cheating men. 'Nobody was here, baby. I'm burning a Gwyneth.'" Very funny. I like that now. Let's see JMS loving my new Gwyneth Paltrow video Giant a scented candle and she's got a picture of a fish on a plate. set on fire.
Hal InPhilly 5:07
Okay, let's see Haunted Dog says, "I like most of you, an actress with opinions, Medical Police on Netflix. Okay, she's just there to plug her show. That was very that was very sneaky,there, Haunted, Dog!
Hal InPhilly 5:22
Let's see. Mindy Robinson says, "Gwyneth Paltrow came out with a $70 candle called This Smells Like My Vagina. So what do you guys think it smells like? I'm going with kale and turtle water.
Hal InPhilly 5:36
Okay, Matt Oswalt... He says, "I just hope this Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candle isn't like all the other... all the other celebrity vagina candles I've bought that always end up smelling like Chinese factory worker vagina." Heh heh heh heh hehhh! That's pretty good. That's a good one!
Hal InPhilly 5:56
A Volatile Mermaid says, "We have a president, so stupid, that Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle, isn't the dumbest thing in the news. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day." Okay, it's little little political there. I try not to do that, but I'm just reading this stuff, folks.
Hal InPhilly 6:14
@Damage Dave says, "I like my vaginas to smell like vaginas and my candles to smell like candles. I don't need a candle mocking me, also." I hear you Damage.
Hal InPhilly 6:26
Okay, so I'm just gonna leave it there. If you go on Twitter, you could read a lot of these posts for yourself. Just go on Twitter and search "vagina candle" and trust me, you'll come across all these. And by the time you're listening to this, I suspect a lot more great comments will have popped up.
Hal InPhilly 6:42
If you really need a candle,you know, maybe you haven't had any in a while, and you need a candle that smells like vagina. Go to GOOP.com. Probably gonna have to preorder for the next batch because she's sold out already. They're $75... I'm sure, if she raised the price, she'd still get orders for these things. So Gwyneth - Good on ya! I think you're a genius. I'm probably not going to order one myself. But, I think the fact that you made one and created a market for these is - uh - it's, it's great and you've given entrepreneurs all over the world, A new hope. I'm just going to close by saying if you if you really need a good laugh or a light hearted way to start your day, remember
Unknown Speaker 7:29
It's Easy When You Know Hal
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Hal InPhilly 0:00
Yeah What's up this is Hal in Philly and welcome to another aromatic episode of Easy When You Know Hal. Why do I say aromatic? Well you know what? Today we're gonna... I wasn't planning this, but the new Twitter... Twitter's just exploding right now with talk of Gwyneth Paltrow's aromatic candle. lol Wait, my phone just...heh hehe heh, I...t's trying to tell me something. Well. I guarantee I'm not going to get through this episode with a straight face. It's... Okay, so here's the deal.
Hal InPhilly 0:41
Gwyneth Paltrow, this was on the news and now it's like, made Twitter explode with just all kinds of great comments, some of which I definitely have to read. But anyway, Gwyneth Paltrow was trying to develop a candle and I guess she was you know, sniffing the different candles trying to come up with names. And, she smelled one candle and just exclaimed, "This candle smells like my vagina!" So... that's what they called it.
Hal InPhilly 1:11
So there's a there's a candle called This Candle Smells Like My Vagina by Gwyneth Paltrow a nd she sold it on her website, Goop - G-O-O-P - that's the name of Gwyneth Paltrow his website for - 75 dollars, and they sold out. This made the news, naturally, and with all the bad, horrible news in the world. I decided I gotta focus on this because you know, we, We need a good laugh. And this is just too funny. So what reason would anybody have for paying $75 for a candle that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina (or any vagina for that matter)?
Hal InPhilly 1:50
Now, when we were younger, we used to burn candles and incense, you know, to cover up the fact like, we were smoking pot in the room, so, in our dumb-ass little minds, we actually thought we were fooling somebody when we lit incense or candles. Cuz all it did was smell like... The incense actually smelled like pot, so basically, all you're doing is telling your parents you're smoking pot in the room. Now, with the vagina scented candles, you've got the smell of sex AND pot in your room. So you're really - Not only are you not covering up what you're doing, you're making matters worse, okay? It's... it's your room smells like you're smoking pot AND having sex. So that's not good. And then the other thing is, you know... Are they edible? No, I wouldn't suggest eating a vagina set a candle. But could you lick it? Umm... and that's just wrong for me to think that. I know you were thinking to though, so I don't feel so bad.
Hal InPhilly 2:50
I did have a thought, now. There are 850 million podcasts now. And I have a feeling that today or the day that new came out there were 849 instead of instead of 850 million or 849,999,999 podcasts, all doing an episode about Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina senate candles. Because, what else can you talk about after that? Like I said, Twitter has blown up. So I want to read. I just want to read it. Just a couple of things. I'm on the website now. I'm just going to like just scroll on read a few of these. Okay. Let's see.
Hal InPhilly 3:33
Elizabeth Mae says, "I cannot believe I C A N N O T B E L I E V E that some of you out there spent $75 on a fucking candle that smells like outras vagina. This goddamn candle is sold out. All of you need a timeout. YOU'RE ALL FIRED. TIME FOR JAIL"
Hal InPhilly 4:01
Sheena from England says, "57 pounds for a candle that smells like someone's vagina. You can smell mine for a fiver" LOL
Hal InPhilly 4:13
Ida Skibenes says, "I'm just going to say it. If you have $75 to spend on a fucking candle that smells like a vagina, you should definitely sit down and stfu the next time you feel like saying, 'I'm not going to pay for anyone's health care'." Okay? Some people take the news a little too seriously. I understand your concern Ida and, and and i i'm with you. I'm with you baby.
Hal InPhilly 4:40
Neal Brennan.., He's a comic. Very funny guy. Let me see what he says. "That Gwyneth Paltrow vagina scented candle is going to be great for cheating men. 'Nobody was here, baby. I'm burning a Gwyneth.'" Very funny. I like that now. Let's see JMS loving my new Gwyneth Paltrow video Giant a scented candle and she's got a picture of a fish on a plate. set on fire.
Hal InPhilly 5:07
Okay, let's see Haunted Dog says, "I like most of you, an actress with opinions, Medical Police on Netflix. Okay, she's just there to plug her show. That was very that was very sneaky,there, Haunted, Dog!
Hal InPhilly 5:22
Let's see. Mindy Robinson says, "Gwyneth Paltrow came out with a $70 candle called This Smells Like My Vagina. So what do you guys think it smells like? I'm going with kale and turtle water.
Hal InPhilly 5:36
Okay, Matt Oswalt... He says, "I just hope this Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candle isn't like all the other... all the other celebrity vagina candles I've bought that always end up smelling like Chinese factory worker vagina." Heh heh heh heh hehhh! That's pretty good. That's a good one!
Hal InPhilly 5:56
A Volatile Mermaid says, "We have a president, so stupid, that Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle, isn't the dumbest thing in the news. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day." Okay, it's little little political there. I try not to do that, but I'm just reading this stuff, folks.
Hal InPhilly 6:14
@Damage Dave says, "I like my vaginas to smell like vaginas and my candles to smell like candles. I don't need a candle mocking me, also." I hear you Damage.
Hal InPhilly 6:26
Okay, so I'm just gonna leave it there. If you go on Twitter, you could read a lot of these posts for yourself. Just go on Twitter and search "vagina candle" and trust me, you'll come across all these. And by the time you're listening to this, I suspect a lot more great comments will have popped up.
Hal InPhilly 6:42
If you really need a candle,you know, maybe you haven't had any in a while, and you need a candle that smells like vagina. Go to GOOP.com. Probably gonna have to preorder for the next batch because she's sold out already. They're $75... I'm sure, if she raised the price, she'd still get orders for these things. So Gwyneth - Good on ya! I think you're a genius. I'm probably not going to order one myself. But, I think the fact that you made one and created a market for these is - uh - it's, it's great and you've given entrepreneurs all over the world, A new hope. I'm just going to close by saying if you if you really need a good laugh or a light hearted way to start your day, remember
Unknown Speaker 7:29
It's Easy When You Know Hal
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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